SkinDeep
by Yosuke
Summary: Once upon a time, Ritsuka met Soubi. There was confusion and hope, but in the end there is sadness. But who knew that this meeting actually took place when Ritsuka was only eight? Shotacon warning.


Skin Deep  
Yosuke  
Romance/General

* * *

AN: So I'm making out the shota thing for all it's worth. Big deal! The main thing that catches my attention with Soubi and Ritsuka is the fact that Soubi is in his 20s and Ritsuka's only 12. Shotacon rocks. I had to go just a little bit further with this whole thing, even if it's not TRUE romance. I still have to do it. Everyone loves those cute childish romances, right?

I tried to do the math on the ages for everyone, and Soubi came out 17-years-old. I'm kinda reluctant to write him that way, 'cause somehow he loses some of his manly appeal when he's a teenager like that, so if ya'll could do me a favor and just imagine him looking older, I'll write him as a teenager... But a manly teenager. He must retain his manliness. 'Cause I said so. The same for Seimei.

As one last note, you'll notice something through the story that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense unless you read a specific volume very carefully. When Nisei tricked Ritsuka's mother, he did it using the Wordspell battle system. Since I learned that it could be done, I'm taking full advantage of it. Hiyah.

Loveless not mine.

* * *

9:00 at night...

9:01 at night...

9:02 at night...

He could count the minutes for hours and he still wouldn't fall asleep any faster. He'd done it before... His record was three hours and 27 minutes. Sometimes he thought to beat that record, but after some time it became mind-numbing... What on earth was keeping him up? Why couldn't he fall asleep? And where was Seimei? It had become a habit to seek out his older brother and sleep in his room. It always helped him fall asleep knowing someone was there to keep him safe. Seimei let him in most of the times he'd asked... Ritsuka had learned how to convince him easily; He'd dress in a pair of over-sized pajamas some relative had bought him for Christmas one year, grab a stuffed animal of some sort, and waddle across the hallway in his hard attempt not to trip over the too-long legs of his pj bottoms. He'd stand in the doorway of Seimei's room, hugging the doll in his arms like it were his only friend and give Seimei _the most _pitiful look he could muster. Add in a few "I can't sleeeep," "I'm scared," and "Please let me stay with you tonight, big brother,"s and Ritsuka had it made. Seimei was a sucker for his younger brother's pouting face. And it worked every time.

But Seimei wasn't home tonight. Ritsuka sighed. Misaki would be mad... She was mad a lot lately. Mainly at Ritsuka, but her anger could quickly turn to the elder son and Ritsuka hoped strongly that Seimei had gone through the trouble of informing their mother that he'd be late that night. Well, she didn't seem to be ranting yet, from what Ritsuka could hear, so the situation probably wouldn't grow bad. That made Ritsuka happy. For one night, there would be no screaming or crying. Unfortunately, it was also the exact night Ritsuka could not seem to drift off to sleep.

The boy brought the covers over his head as he curled into his bed further. "C'mon, Seimei! I"m only eight! Don't leave me here all by myself! And not with mom!"

The door downstairs closed...

Ritsuka's ears perked as he shot up. Talking... Two male voices... Footsteps coming towards the stairs. Seimei! Ritsuka launched himself from his bed and clumsily pulled open the bottom drawer of his dresser. There, tucked in the corner to be saved for a special occasion like this, were his over-sized blue pajamas. He quickly changed into those, grabbed a stuffed grey cat doll, and stood by his door, waiting patiently to hear the voice of his brother disappear into the room beside his. But how odd... There was another voice with his. It sounded about as deep as Seimei's... Was it a friend of Seimei's? Ritsuka became giddy. A friend of his brother! Finally, he could meet one of his friends! Seimei never seemed to hang out with any friends, and that often worried Ritsuka, but he also knew that the older one was way too cool to be considered "uncool" and "friendless". This was Seimei, Ritsuka's ultra-cool big brother, beloved to all! Yes, Seimei wad beloved. No one could _not _want to hang out with him. And whoever he did choose to spend time with had to be cool, too. So Ritsuka really wanted to meet him then!

...However, his shyness was quickly overriding his need to meet this other person, and he found himself lingering quietly in his room. After much thought, he finally pulled open the door and padded over to the next room, standing silently just outside the half-shut door and listening to the two older boys talk.

_"...You make it sound as if I wanted that to happen."_

_"I worry, sometimes, that I may not understand you as well as I'd like... Perhaps you did mean to do that."_

_"I'd rather not have my fighter bleeding from his temple."_

_"Better me than you."_

_"How noble..."_

COUGH!

Ritsuka's hands went to his mouth, dropping his stuffed cat to the floor as he realized he'd just given away his location. The two in the room went silent and Ritsuka cursed his current tonsil problem. But he knew what would come next, so he quickly prepared. He picked up the doll and once again clung to it fiercely, then lowered his head a little, waiting for just the right moment...

Seimei opened the door a little more, peering down at the small child currently cowering before the threshold. Begin "the moment": Little Ritsuka turned big, puppy-dog eyes up at his brother, a pout on his face as he hugged the doll in his arms like it would give him protection, whatever threat may come. "Seimei... I couldn't sleep..." He turned to face him a little more. "Can I stay with you tonight? Pleeeeease?"

Ahh, like putty in his hands. Seimei had the ability to change expressions every so often, but rarely allowed others to see what he was feeling. A smile every now and then, yes, but for the most part: He was stoic. And he still held that same callous look on his face as he always did whenever he was bored and found something to his dislike, but Ritsuka could clearly see the will melting away in those eyes and gave himself a pat on the back. _'Success,'_, Ritsuka said inwardly in triumph. He thought to run inside and climb on the bed before his brother had a chance to refuse, but suddenly remembered the odd guest sitting in _Ritsuka's _spot on the bed, where the boy would curl up to sleep by Seimei on those special nights, and simply awaited an answer instead.

Seimei sighed and gave a soft smile. "I'm sorry, Ritsuka, but I have a guest here tonight. Perhaps another time, alright?" He slowly closed the door, shutting out the boy. Ritsuka pouted again, this time in all-seriousness.

"That's MY spot, you jerk," Ritsuka whispered softly, knowing then that war was declared between this stranger, this _supposed _friend of Seimei, and himself.

He remained in the hallway for a little while, dragging the stuffed cat behind him by his tail as he paced about, wondering what would be the easiest way to penetrate the forces of Seimei's room. He could easily knock again, and maybe this time add in a few tears while collapsing to his knees and saying his tummy hurt. He could barge in and sit by the stranger, annoyingly getting in on all their conversations until the new guy left... And then there was his trump card: Say mother was hurting him again. Seimei _never _refused Ritsuka when he came to his room, trembling with fear and heartache. But that seemed so cruel.. At some point, Seimei would begin to send Ritsuka away if he pulled that trick too much.

As he continued to think desperately, he heard the door to his brother's bedroom open. Ritsuka panicked and hid in the nearest available space: The toilet room. He cracked the door as he watched his brother step out and begin walking downstairs, calling for their mother. Ritsuka's ears perked once more. Whatever he was asking her, it would probably take a while, since Misaki certainly loved to take her time talking with Seimei. This meant that the other guy was alone in there... Ritsuka left the cat by the toilet as he stepped out of that small room and tiptoed to Seimei's door, looking in to find that man...

On the bed, in Ritsuka's spot, sat the stranger, who looked as if he hadn't budged an inch from when he first sat down. Ritsuka almost wanted to turn away out of shyness, but stopped when something peculiar caught his eye. Blood... There was blood seeping from the man's forehead. Why? Ritsuka immediately began to question the situation and all possible reasons behind the injury. Seimei had said "fighter" before... What did that mean? Was this guy getting into fights? If so, he wasn't a very good person to be Seimei's friend. Seimei didn't need any punks like that.

And then he saw the blue eyes as the head lifted ever-so-slightly, allowing the reflections of light to fade from his glasses and his face to become visible. What cold eyes... But he certainly was handsome. He'd never seen a guy with long hair before. He had probably looked like a girl when he was younger. Ritsuka giggled to himself. And it was then that he noticed those blue eyes...

...were staring right at him.

Ritsuka froze, unprepared for the visual assault and desperately forcing his mind to look away but finding no means to follow those mental commands. Why was this guy just staring at him? Why wasn't he saying anything? And why couldn't the boy look away from those eyes? He felt like he was being commanded to watch... It just pulled in him. He struggled to bring his mind to focus on something else, and he finally managed to once again register the blood seeping from the man's head. Whatever had done that must have hurt pretty badly... Ritsuka empathized with the strange man. He also knew what it was like to be hurt and bleeding. Others took care of him when he was hurt... He should return the favor for this weird guest. Ritsuka forced his eyes away and rushed back to his room, out of the stranger's sight. The man continued staring at the door as if they child were still there and vaguely wondered where he had gone to, then sincerely wondered why he cared. A moment later, those large violet eyes were back, once again staring at him with intent but also serious shyness. It seemed like he wanted to say something, and the stranger felt moved to speak out to him, but the boy acted before he could. Ritsuka pushed his way through the door slowly, entering the room he'd been asked to stay out of and slowly stepped towards the bed. His hands were behind his back, obviously hiding something. The stranger said nothing, only staring intensely at the young boy. Ritsuka's ears twitched a little, pointing backwards in tension as he carefully walked to the man's side and climbed up on the bed. Small hands gripped his shoulder for balance, then quickly went to work on pulling open a bandage patch he had kept under his sink for his own emergencies. Once it was free of the plastic, Ritsuka brushed back the blonde hair and pressed the adhesive to the man's temple, bandaging up the wound. The blood eventually stopped running as the cloth soaked it up. The man felt a little surprised, but hid that fact as once again his gaze held the boy's, who blushed in return and climbed off the bed. His arms returned behind his back and pulled out a small red flower. He extended it towards the other, offering it as a gift.

The man remained silent, confused but feeling no urge to voice it. His arm slowly lifted and accepted the small flower. Finally, Ritsuka lowered his head and spoke. "Seimei does things for me when I feel sick or hurt, so I thought you'd might like that, too." He looked up with his eyes and felt to the urge to cower a little at the gaze bearing down on him. "I-It's just from a bouquet in the hallway. It's all I had..."

Silence.

Ritsuka felt awkward. Had he done something stupid?

"Y-You're brother's friend?" Ritsuka tried to probe for the man's identity. "What's your name?"

The man's attention switched to the flower, holding it like it had some disease and was most definitely not eager to catch it. The boy felt agitated.

"D-Do you not like me?"

And once more, the blue eyes fell on Ritsuka, who was still blushing shyly.

"I'll leave if you want..."

Finally... the man gave a response. He chuckled a little. "You don't seem like him at all..."

Ritsuka's ears perked, hope shining through. "What do you mean? Like who?"

"Seimei." The stranger put the flower on the bed beside him. "You are nothing like him, despite being his brother."

And that instant hope deflated again, leaving the boy somewhat dumbfounded. "What? Are you insulting me?"

"No, this is a good thing. Seimei is not a character to imitate."

"But Seimei is nice!" Ritsuka clenched his fists, determined to fight this man's misunderstanding. "Seimei is kind and gentle! And cool! Everyone loves Seimei!"

"Then you must not know very many people," the man softly chuckled again, easing a little. "He's not what you think he is." A moment later, he let his head fall to the side a bit. "You look like him, though..." He smiled. "You're cuter."

The boy's face lit up pink. "U-Um... N-No, Seimei's handsome, I'm just..."

"You'll grow up to be better looking than him," the man added in before he could finish. Ritsuka thought to argue that a little, convinced Seimei definitely held better features than himself.

"Y-You're--"

"Are you calling me ugly, Soubi?"

Ritsuka jumped a little, darting around to find his beloved older brother lingering in the doorway with a box of bandages and a wet cloth. Soubi sat back on the bed, hands flat to support his weight. "It depends. Perhaps I am. Which feature shall he focus on to argue this point?"

"You're so funny," Seimei responsed sarcastically before turning his attention to his little brother. "Ritsuka, please go back to you're room. It's time for bed."

Feeling a little rejected, Ritsuka sighed and padded out of the room, leaving Seimei to close the door and continue his original conversation with his friend, this man named Soubi.

* * *

It became a painfully long night, if it hadn't been painful enough already. Alone in his room, stuck, nothing to do and unable to close his eyes long enough to let sleep take over (if it were willing to)... Ritsuka was utterly bored. He'd found no urge to change back into his original pajamas, and his stuffed cat was once again shoved sloppily on his desk where it belonged. Sighing, he rolled out of bed, giving up completely on sleep, and walked to his desk. There sat his digital camera, a gift from his dearest brother on his birthday. He clutched the small object with affection and turned to face his room. Dark... poor lighting and nothing to center on. Oh, well. This was a good time to practice. He turned the device on and aimed it at his bed. Click! Next his desk. Click! Next the cat doll on his desk. Click! Next the band-aid on his hand. Click! Now the window. Click!

He propped himself back onto his bed and began reviewing his photography. They hadn't come out quite as badly as he had thought they would... The cat doll made a nice model, he supposed. He skimmed through picture after picture, boredom growing in his mind, and as he prepared to shut off the camera after reviewing the final picture, the shot of the window, he spotted something peculiar... There was a shadow behind the curtain in this picture... A tall shadow.

Ritsuka shook, dropping the camera to his bed and looking slowly to his window once more. A shadow... There was a mysterious shadow further dimming the somewhat-lit curtains that glowed from streetlights and stars. _'W-What is that?' _he thought in fear as he gradually slipped off the bed. His initial thought was to fetch Seimei, but knew that he had bothered his brother enough that night and didn't want to chance making him mad. Gulping, he padded to the window, one shaking hand gripping the curtains and bravely ripping them open.

Ritsuka let out a yelp, falling on his rump as he stared up at two cold blue eyes. _'S-Soubi!' _Again, he thought to call for Seimei, but somehow figured that might destroy the point of why this weirdo was attempting to sneak into the boy's room through his window when Seimei clearly did not want them to meet. Shaking, Ritsuka climbed to his feet and rushed to the window, pushing open the door and stepping back to let the man walk in. Soubi's smile showed kindness, but something about him made Ritsuka feel unnerved and tried to make it clear he didn't want the guy coming near him. "What kind of idiot stays outside people's windows 'til they finally notice them??" Ritsuka said accusingly, trying to keep his tone down so his big brother wouldn't hear. Soubi gave no response and simple moved towards the bed, examining it first then taking a seat. Ritsuka huffed. "I might've been sleeping, you know. Aren't you going to apologize?"

"You weren't asleep."

"And how do you know?"

"You wouldn't have noticed me. And you're camera wouldn't be out." Soubi picked up the object idly, appreciation showing in his face for the lack of flaws in the silver plating.

"Careful with that!" Ritsuka ordered quietly. "Seimei gave me that for my birthday!"

Soubi's interest gradually dissipated. He returned the camera to the bed and once again connected his eyes to the younger boy, who blushed in return.

"What do you want?" Ritsuka asked, almost whispering. When Soubi didn't respond right away, Ritsuka slowly began to find it useless to force answers from him and tried a different tactic: Change questions. "Okay, you're Seimei's friend... When did you guys meet?" No answer. Ritsuka grunted. "Can you at least tell me how you got hurt like that?"

"There was a battle."

His ears perked. "Battle? Like a fight? You shouldn't get into fights."

Soubi's response was a chuckle. "They're not easily avoidable."

"Then just run away. That's what I do when I'm threatened." The child's face held sympathy. Soubi saw the desperation in his eyes to help another who was being hurt and smiled.

"That logic doesn't always work. I hope Seimei isn't trying to force that into you're mind. You can't always just run away."

"I know..." Ritsuka's ears fell a little. "But running is easier and it doesn't hurt. No one can get me if I run."

"Where do you run to?"

"Seimei." Those violet eyes lifted to look at Soubi. "If you ran, where would you run?"

He gave no response, but this time Ritsuka felt that the answer was a little more obvious; Soubi didn't have anywhere to run. How sad, Ritsuka thought.

"If you want..." the boy started. "You can run here. I'm not great company, but I'm better than nothing." He seemed so small then, and shy. It was adorable. Soubi couldn't fight back another smile.

"You're not afraid of me?"

"Yeah, I am. You're a creep that wanders outside of boys' windows. What's not to be scared of?"

"It's not a hobby."

"So then it'd just be _my_ window."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You're cute."

"That's not funny," Ritsuka pouted, finally finding enough sense to climb up on the bed beside Soubi. "I want a real reason. You're my brother's friend. Guys like you don't hang out with eight-year-olds."

Finally, _finally_, Soubi began to give in, though Ritsuka wondered if perhaps the time he took to at last give some answers was intentional or if the boy was seriously breaking through to this guy. Soubi sat back a little, turning his attention to the window and the flowing curtains that swayed in the breeze. "I figured I should go ahead and see what you're like _now_."

"Huh? Now? What do you mean?"

"I'll be following your orders in the future. Or at least, that's what Seimei says. Seimei's usually right, but this time I can't tell if that's good or bad."

Ritsuka was thoroughly confused. "What? Why on earth would you follow my orders? What for? And what's Seimei talking about?"

"Seimei tells me what to do right now," Soubi confessed, looking down at the child sitting on the bedsheets. "And he told me to listen to you in the future." Soubi scoffed. "I'm being somewhat blunt."

"Hardly," the boy nearly growled. "C'mon, you're not making any sense!"

"It'll make sense later. For right now, you don't need to know anything else. Don't worry about Seimei, and don't try to delve into his business. Keep him as your brother and leave anything you might find odd about him out of your relationship with him."

"Odd? What's odd, other than the 'following orders' thing?" The boy was gradually crumbling, worry consuming him over his brother's well-being and what this man could possibly be talking about. "Wait... You guys aren't in some cult, are you?"

"No..." Soubi started fishing through his coat pockets. "I guess you could say we're fighting a cult."

"Oh... I guess that's better... I think... Hey!" Ritsuka jumped a little when the man produced a pack of cigarettes from his inside pocket. "You can't smoke in here!"

The look on Soubi's face then seemed a little more dangerous, leading Ritsuka to believe this man obviously did not enjoy being denied his smokes. "Why not?"

"Are you serious??" Ritsuka's eyebrow twitched, his tail curling around one leg. "If my mother walks in here and smells cigarette smoke... or if Seimei were to smell it... he'd know you were here." His fists clutched his pajama bottoms. "Also, that stuff smells bad."

His expression was blank. Ritsuka sighed. Soubi had obviously become tolerant, and probably numb, to the smell of cigarette smoke. Most smokers probably were like that. Bravely, Ritsuka reached up and grabbed the white stick from the man's mouth and put it back in the box grasped by Soubi's unmoving hand. Ritsuka gave one last "No Smoking" glare and quickly tucked the pack of cigarettes back into Soubi's pocket for him. In all the stillness the man was displaying, the boy started to worry that perhaps he'd made him angry. He looked up with his eyes.

"You were still gonna smoke anyway, whether I'd told you to stop or not."

"... Probably," Soubi said, barely audible as he straightened his coat out and relaxed again. Ritsuka felt his face turn red again. There was something about this guy that just made him feel somewhat insecure, or perhaps like he was in danger but safe at the same time. It was hard to trust other people sometimes, and Ritsuka struggled to bring himself to scoot a little closer to him, despite how his nerves were jumping. Curling up and wrapping his arms around his legs, he flattened his ears and gave a pitiful look at Soubi. The flat ears and small look weren't intentional... If anything, it only made him seem smaller and more vulnerable. Soubi saw this, giving up on fighting back the urges to smile at the obviously shaken child and put a hand on his head, petting his hair and causing his ears to twitch a few times. Ritsuka looked up a little more, his ears slowly perking back up as that feeling of insecurity slowly started to wash away.

Time passed... The two talked for a while, wary of their volume so that big brother Seimei didn't hear them. They chatted about different things... mainly things Ritsuka enjoyed or times he'd spent with Seimei. Soubi didn't care to involve his own life very much. In fact, he gave very little information on himself and failed to mention anyone he knew other than Seimei. He did mention a "teacher" at some point, but the look on his face told Ritsuka that Soubi obviously didn't enjoy talking about that person, and quickly tried to avert the conversation elsewhere. And while they talked, Soubi saw a gradual change in the child; He was loosening up and becoming much more relaxed. He'd moved closer to Soubi, his legs kicking idly over the side of the bed and his tail swaying comfortably behind him, moving across the bedspread like a pendulum. Soubi's attention fell on the tail once or twice. Too cute, he thought, and reached down to catch it. Ritsuka immediately jerked, nearly jumping out of his skin when something suddenly grabbed his tail, and he twisted to glare at Soubi. The man just smiled and released it, resuming their conversation, though Ritsuka was still a little on edge after that.

"Soubi?"

"Hm?" The man looked down at the child after a moment of spacing out. Ritsuka was, once again, consumed in his shyness.

"Who were you in love with?"

The question had come out of nowhere, or so Soubi thought. He kept a straight face, though on the inside he was more than a little surprised and confused. "What gives you the impression that I was in love with anyone?"

"You're an adult," Ritsuka pointed out. "You don't have ears or a tail. You lose them when you fall in love, right?" Ritsuka thought to continue but was cut off when Soubi shook his head, smiling a little.

"Who told you that?"

"Seimei."

"Figures..." Soubi grunted quietly, shifting on the bed. "It's not a matter of love. It's a matter of the body."

"Huh?" Ritsuka's pure curiosity and total innocence to the actual answer was unbearably adorable to Soubi. It was unbelievable, he had thought. He couldn't keep his mind off the boy for a second when his childishness came into play. And with those violet doe eyes staring at him, awaiting an answer, he felt it hard to maintain his will.

"I've never been in love."

"Then you're ears--"

"It's not important."

"But--!"

"You want to know how ears are lost?" He'd suddenly turned the question so personal... and so embarrassing, but for what reasons, Ritsuka wasn't quite sure. There was obviously some very... adult answer awaiting him, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for it. But he _did _hate it when information was kept from him. He always hated that. He felt like he was being left out on something, and even though he knew he'd probably learn the answer at a better time later in life, he just really, really wanted to have this special information that everyone knew but him. So, slowly... he nodded. In return, Soubi gave a kinder smile and leaned down towards the boy. Ritsuka instinctively leaned back, trying to back away from whatever might be invading him. The man's lips affectionately grazed one of his pointed ears, then planted a kiss on his jawline. The boy felt his skin crawl, jerking away from the other and further back onto his bed.

"W-What are you doing??" Ritsuka stuttered, putting a hand on his vicitimized ear. "You jerk!"

"You wanted to know how ears are lost," Soubi said, sitting straight again.

"What? You eat them??" The boy shivered, scooting back a little more.

Soubi offered a hand out to him, watching the violet eyes intently. "Don't you want to know?"

Ritsuka stared at the hand as if it were offending him. "I-I don't wanna _lose _them... I just asked how it's done." The boy refused the hand and curled in on himself, hugging his knees to his chest and staring at his window. Once more, he felt unsafe with Soubi, and that sickeningly sweet attitude of his wasn't making the night any better. Ritsuka peeked up, and out of the corner of his eye, he noted the unashamed smile on the man's face. He blushed and once again turned away.

"Do you want a kiss?"

Ritsuka, again, was startled. "W-What??"

"A kiss. Would you like one?"

At first, he wasn't quite sure how to respond, but eventually he forced his body to give an obvious answer. "Of course not!" the boy spat and braced himself for protection from the man's unusual advances. "Why would I want a kiss from you??"

"Ritsuka..." the soft voice came, pulling Ritsuka's attention back to Soubi, who's eyes had dimmed and was once again staring at him with that irregular intensity that had previously ensnared him in Seimei's room. He could only watch the blue eyes hopelessly as Soubi leaned down again and planted a kiss on Ritsuka, this time directly on his lips. Needless to say, Ritsuka felt shaken up, but out of embarrassment, attempted to cover that up with a quick and meaningless glance around the room. He was blushing, yes, which set off a feeling of victory in Soubi as he scooted closer to the young boy. "How was that?"

"...Fine." It was a halfhearted response, a dull attempt to deflate Soubi's ego. It failed. Soubi still had that gleam in his eyes that unnerved the boy.

"Do you want another?"

"... Fine." It was the best thing he could do right then: Pretend like he didn't care, like he was doing it just to satisfy Soubi. Man, this guy was weird... He came into a boy's room half his age, teased him, then kissed him (which probably counted as teasing too). He didn't know many people like that, if any. Soubi was a real character... How should he handle this situation, though? How could he get out of this? Or perhaps an ever bigger question: Did he _want_ to?

Fingers touched the black strands of hair on the back of Ritsuka's head, eliciting a shudder as his shoulders tensed up and he rolled his head back to both look at Soubi and cease the feeling currently passing through his skull. Soubi met his mouth again, kissing him for a long moment, giving enough time for Ritsuka to understand what was going on. It felt odd... He'd never been kissed before. He'd heard people go on about "first kisses" before. Did they all feel like this? Awkward yet satisfying? But then again, how many of them happened when they were eight?

As Soubi pulled away, Ritsuka's eyes opened to see Soubi's, vaguely aware of his surroundings and deep thought settling in. _'Ears'_, he thought. _'Oh... I think I get it now...'_Ritsuka let his head fall back down again, staring at the floor for a moment before speaking. "I get it..."

"Do you?" came Soubi's suddenly unfamiliar voice. Ritsuka nodded.

"About ears... Seimei was just trying to keep me away from something dangerous."

"And did it work?"

"Yeah, I guess... Not a lot of kids my age know about sex... I suppose I never really thought ears and tails go away after sex... But how does that work?" Ritsuka was curious again. Soubi sighed a little.

"School will teach you that. It's not my position to tell you."

"Meanie..." Ritsuka leaned back, supporting his weight on his arms and staring mindlessly at the window. He could feel Soubi staring at him. It was unnerving. He tried to ignore it, but the gaze just seemed so intense that it was impossible to disregard. It was when Soubi leaned in close again that Ritsuka felt his nervousness grow. He hadn't been scared when the man had kissed him just seconds ago... Why now? Because he understood now? That seemed even more pathetic.

Lips touched to the top of Ritsuka's head, then to the delicate junction where his jawbone ended at his ear. One hand had lifted to hold the side of his head, as if to steady him, as Soubi pressed a kiss to his neck. The boy's heart thrummed in his chest mercilessly, silently embarrassed if Soubi could feel or even hear it. Fingers brushed through his hair before carefully guiding him to lay down on the sheets. Ritsuka was unsure of whether to keep his eyes open or not, and ended up staring sleepily at Soubi, who towered over him much more than before. Hands brushed the hair out of his face before he was granted another kiss on his mouth. He was so nervous. Was Soubi going to... do anything? He felt his pajama top lifted a little bit, and Soubi's fingers brushed the exposed stomach. Ritsuka's shivered. He was kissed on the lips again, then teeth pressured ever so carefully into his neck, where Ritsuka was sure Soubi would feel his rapid pulse. He shut his eyes in embarrassment, small hands gripping tightly onto one of Soubi's arms.

"You..." Ritsuka started, trying his damnedest to be assertive but god was it so hard right then... "You sh-shouldn't do this... If Seimei were to walk in right now..."

"He won't."

"He might..."

"I doubt it," Soubi half-mumbled, trying to fully pull off Ritsuka's pajama top, but shaking arms stopped him, thrusting into his chest and forcing him to sit up a little. Ritsuka's flushed face stared at him with an adorable attempt to seem angry.

"No. Get off."

Soubi seemed insulted, but after a brief moment of silent staring, the man sighed and sat up straight, leaning off of Ritsuka. He chuckled a little. "What were you expecting?"

The boy struggled to sit up, pulling his shirt back down and straightening his black hair. "I was expecting you to behave." The statement seemed so pointless. The man had shown up at their house with cuts and bruises, snuck in through an eight-year-old's window, tried to smoke in that eight-year-old's room, and Ritsuka's expected him to _behave_? He blushed even brighter. He needed to start thinking out his words more carefully. And it seemed that Soubi had caught the faux pas as well, as he was staring at Ritsuka with a creepy adoration and small smile. Ritsuka hid his face and scooted to the edge of the bed, as if anticipating an escape. "If Seimei were to find out..."

"He won't."

"But he might!"

"Would you tell him?" Soubi seemed unconcerned. Ritsuka knew why the moment he thought it out. He could never tell his big brother that... a man... and much older person... much less Seimei's acquaintance had snuck into his room and attempted to molest him. Seimei always seemed so protective of Ritsuka, and the boy worried that his brother might get a little too angry with Soubi over the matter. Seimei was by no means violent (as far as Ritsuka knew, anyway), but when it came to matters involving his younger brother, Seimei might very well be capable of...

Ritsuka stopped his train of thought. He could never think of Seimei that way. He never dared it.

There was an awkward silence in the room after that. Ritsuka wasn't sure what to say, and Soubi sure as hell seemed intent on staying silent. The boy wracked his mind for some random conversation starter or perhaps a reason to kick Soubi out (that would seem convincing enough), until he suddenly remembered his original question. "Soubi!" He looked up. "You never answered my question! Who took your ears?" He honestly hoped Soubi would be willing to answer. He definitely wanted to know which lucky victim had fallen prey to Soubi's obviously talented sexual desires. But Soubi merely shook his head.

"You don't need to know."

"Yeah I do!" Ritsuka sat up straight. "I wanna know! Please!"

"Even if I told you, you wouldn't know that person."

"I might meet them later! If I got to meet you on a chance like this, I could meet your friends!"

"I did not lose them to a 'friend'."

Ritsuka's ears flattened a little. "What? They weren't your friend?"

Soubi apparently was not interested in this conversation. "Don't think about it too hard... I have very few friends... Actually, I guess I only have one."

"One friend?... Oh! Seimei!"

"No..." came Soubi's dull response. "Not him."

"He's not your friend?"

"No." Soubi smiled a little. "The master does not befriend the slave. I serve Seimei. He tells me what to do. Would you tell a friend what to do all the time?"

Ritsuka suddenly seemed unsure. "Of course not! But... I don't understand. Why does Seimei tell you what to do? And why would you listen to him?"

"There are reasons behind it that I cannot explain now. You'll learn it all in due time. Just be patient." The man lifted a hand to touch Ritsuka's neck, brushing his fingertips just under his chin, but the child adamantly grabbed his wrist with both hands and raised himself to his knees.

"Why can't I know now?!" He was mad. There was such determination in his eyes that Soubi couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'll give you a hint, then. Would that make you feel better?"

"Yes!" Ritsuka edged closer, never letting go of the hand. Soubi closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and leaned closer to the boy, brushing his lips over one pointed cat-like ear, taking in his future-master's presence, then sat back a little.

"Loveless."

Ritsuka's anger faded to confusion again. "What?"

"Loveless. Beloved will become Loveless." He turned his hand so that he could grip Ritsuka's instead of the other way around, and carefully brought the small hand to his face. "I will become Loveless in order to serve you once Beloved is gone." Then he kissed the backs of his fingers reverently, almost lovingly... as if to show him his loyalty.

It seemed the world was once again slowly vanishing into regret and several other mixtures of feelings. Ritsuka was lost. He didn't understand anything that was going on or what the heck Soubi was talking about. Who was Loveless? Who was Beloved? "Beloved will become Loveless? You'll become Loveless once Beloved is gone... So that makes you Beloved? So how can you become Loveless if you'll be gone? And what's a Loveless and a Beloved anyway?"

"I'm sorry," Soubi said, lowering the smaller hand back to Ritsuka's lap. "But I said I'd give you _a_ hint. One hint. I can't say anything more."

"But!" Ritsuka's tail began to poof a little. "I don't understand anything! What's Loveless??"

"You'll know later." The man fell forward a little and kissed the boy's forehead, then stared directly into the violet eyes. "Systems Engage."

"Wha??" Ritsuka made eye contact for a split second before everything except Soubi suddenly fell into darkness. The world became black, a thick feeling he could only describe as heat consuming him, and the only color available was the blue in Soubi's eyes. A smile on his face... the room was hot... and then a hand on his chest.

"It's nighttime... Fall to sleep, rest deeply, and awaken remembering nothing. Sleep..."

Ritsuka saw red for a split second... It looked as if it were glowing in the form of a word placed upon Soubi's chest. A word... _Beloved..._ How odd, he thought. It was the last thing that went through his mind as the hand slipped from his chest and he felt himself tumble backwards into darkness and slumber.

* * *

The clock was ticking loudly... a familiar sound, one he thought he could remember focusing on the night before but strangely enough... he only remembered sleep in his memories. Ritsuka's eyes opened slowly, focusing on the white ceiling as daylight glittered across it. Morning already... and what a restful night he had had. Surprising, really. On nights Seimei wasn't home, Ritsuka had trouble sleeping. He had fallen asleep before Seimei had gotten home, he guessed. Too bad... He had meant to go whine to Seimei so he could sleep in his bed. He had the pajamas and stuffed cat ready and everyth--

Ritsuka stopped his train of thought as he sat up. The over-sized blue pajamas he saved for nights he'd planned to spend sleeping in Seimei's bed... He was already wearing them. He looked for his stuffed cat... It lay knocked over on his desk, unusually out of place from the regular spot on the other side of the desk. And beside the cat... was his camera, placed lens-side up. Inwardly, he grimaced and jumped out of bed to pick up the device. This was weird... He never left his camera anywhere with the lens facing up. Dust would collect in it, making the pictures blurry. He flipped it over and left it so the screen was then facing up.

As he stumbled back to his bed, sleep still disorienting him, he could feel his heart thump a little loud. Just once, but it happened. His hand went to his chest, feeling around as if that would help in some way. The skin on his chest felt a little cold, like he'd slept without a shirt or sheets, but it was just in one particular spot about the size of his hand... Maybe just a little bit bigger.

"Ritsuka?"

The boy's head shot around to look at the door. A gentle knocking, then Seimei opened it and walked through. Ritsuka's ears fell after perking up so high. "Oh, Seimei!"

"Good afternoon, Ritsuka."

"Wha?" The violet eyes shot to his clock, noting the time. 1:07. He was surprised. "Oh... Ah, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to sleep in this long... And here I thought I'd fallen asleep early last night..."

The look on Seimei's face didn't seem surprised at all. "Mom probably won't be getting out of bed today. She took really heavy sleeping pills last night, so she'll be out for a while."

"Oh... okay," came Ritsuka's simple response, though on the inside he was confused. Their mother didn't have heavy sleeping pills. She had lighter ones she took occasionally. "Was... Was mom asleep when you went downstairs last night?"

Seimei's head fell to the side. "Went downstairs? What time?"

"After nine, about. You went to get bandages."

"For what?"

"For..." Ritsuka's words died. Oh... What was that? Seimei got bandages for who? Himself? No... and not for Ritsuka either... Odd. He cocked his head to the side a little. "I coulda sworn... I guess I must be remembering some other night... I fell asleep before you got home last night, so I couldn't possibly know if... Oh, well." Ritsuka smiled sheepishly. "I guess we should go ahead and eat lunch then."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Burgers."

"That's unhealthy."

"I know, but it's good."

"We'll have curry." Seimei turned and started walking out the door. "Care to argue?"

"No, sir..." Ritsuka smiled again, "Curry it is."

"Good." Seimei smiled a little as he walked out the door, shutting it behind him to leave his younger brother to get dressed.

Ritsuka grunted and fell back onto his bed, grabbing his pillow and smothering his face with it. "So sleepy..." he grumbled into the cotton mass and rolled onto his side. Once again, his mind fell on his camera and vaguely wondered how it had ended up in that position. And why his chest felt cold. And why in the world he was in those pajamas and his cat was knocked over. And the bandages... Why did he remember Seimei going downstairs for bandages when he wasn't even awake to witness it? And what... was this? His eyes opened, staring into the white currently smooshed against his face. There was a word on the tip of his tongue, something he couldn't quite remember. It was a simple word. Well, somewhat simple. It was an English word, and a voice in his mind saying it to him said it in thick romanji syllables. And red... Glowing red.

Ritsuka groaned loudly and tumbled off his bed, throwing the pillow away from him. Thinking about it only confused him more. He was asleep last night. End of story. Seimei came home late. Ritsuka had some crazy dreams and that was it. He stormed over to his desk and replaced the cat in its usual spot, then turned to his dresser and selected an outfit for the day. A simple shirt and shorts. Ritsuka fixed his messy hair in the mirror, then grabbed his camera. Today would be a good day. He could tell. It was the weekend, so Seimei would take him out somewhere. And Ritsuka would take lots of pictures. He opened the slot that held the memory card he'd been using for the past few days and put it in a protective case, then tossed it into a drawer. He liked to organize his cards by events. That card had had shots from a festival the two of them had recently attended. Even if it wasn't full, he wanted to keep everything organized, so he'd start the day with an empty memory card.

Slipping in the blank card, he put the camera in a leather bag, tossed it over his shoulder, and rushed out the door to join his brother for lunch.

A memory card can last for years and years, untouched, undamaged.

The pictures it contains can go for so long without once being looked at.

But the memory of those pictures in the mind of a child can so easily vanish...

Thank god for memory cards, Ritsuka supposed as he started digging through his messy drawer. He knew he had one more somewhere. He remembered tossing one in there about four years ago. It had to still be there. He remembered taking some pictures from a festival with Seimei, and desperately wanted to see those pictures again. He also wanted to show them to Yuiko. She'd been curious about Ritsuka's deceased brother. She'd wanted to see what he looked like. Boy, she'd be in for a surprise. Seimei was handsome, and all girls like handsome guys. Ritsuka smiled mentally. Even after all this time of not having Seimei around, Ritsuka was still proud to be his brother. He could still brag about him just as much as if he were alive.

Aha! Here it is! Lost under some playing cards and a piece of paper that held Soubi's address (for those "just in case" situations). The case was covered in dust. He cleaned it off and opened it up, gently taking out the precious card as if all its time being unused had caused it to somehow become fragile. In to the camera it goes... Ritsuka started looking through the shots. Him and Seimei together... Ritsuka was so little! He suddenly grew embarrassed. If Yuiko saw these pictures, she'd see him as a little kid. He blushed, but tried to suck it up. She'd eventually see them, he knew. May as well get it over with. Picture after picture after picture... Seimei paying for some random toy Ritsuka wanted... Ritsuka playing with a ball-and-cup... Ritsuka staring bewildered at an Inuki statue... All of them were great shots. He smiled. Perfect. Perfect memories. He looked at the top of the screen to see how many pictures were left. 10 more to go... He certainly did take a lot. He started to skim through them.

What was this?

A picture of his bed from four years ago... The room was dark. Weird. He didn't remember taking this at all. Probably just some random practice shots he'd done while half-asleep. Then the desk. Then his stuffed cat. He smiled. He remembered that stupid doll. He'd used it to look so pathetic so he could sleep in Seimei's room. That doll was lost now. He didn't care, though. It was just a doll he'd never use again. The next picture was of his desk. Then a band-aid on his hand. Then his window--

Ritsuka's eyes widened in shock and horror.

A creepy shadow in his window... What on earth was this? It looked like a person. A tall person... This seemed so familiar somehow...

A tapping on the glass of his window interrupted his thoughts, startling him. Ritsuka put his camera on his bed as he let out a breath. Soubi... Soubi was at his window. He could hear his name being called. He thought to ignore him, as he meant to spend the day with Yuiko and Yayoi, not Soubi, who already greedily took up as much of the boy's time as he could. Geez, he knew they were supposed to be Fighter and Sacrifice, but wasn't Soubi supposed to be obeying him? When he said "stay away", that meant stay away! Ritsuka grunted and leaned back in his chair. "Soubi, I told you! I'm not spending the day with yo--" His words cut off as he turned his head to look towards his balcony...

...to see that same creepy shadow behind the drapes.

_Beloved_... Why did that word come to mind then? And why was he so afraid? Almost too afraid to move? Ritsuka's eyes stared in shock at the window as Soubi called for him agian, rousing him enough to stand and walk to the balcony doors. It was a tense, scary moment as unwelcome and unrecognizable memories began to flood him, making no sense and scaring the life out of him. Shaking, his hands reached for the handle, slowly opening it. In walked Soubi...

... and in walked a million feelings he couldn't place.

Ritsuka was at a loss for words. Thoughts strangled him, and he couldn't possibly summon any coherency to greet his fighter. Meanwhile, Soubi stood quietly before the boy, cocking his head to the side. "Something wrong, Ritsuka?"

...He still couldn't speak. There was something eating at his mind, something inside him screaming to remember something very important, but nothing surfaced. All he could think of was the word "Beloved", burning and fierce. He saw it clear as day, even though Soubi's own name was sealed away under bandages and a high-collared shirt. What was this? It was hurting him. It felt as if the word were searing right into his eyes. Ritsuka clamped his eyelids shut as he turned his head away, stumbling backwards. Immediately, Soubi's hands were on his shoulders, worried he was about to fall over.

"What's wrong, Ritsuka?"

"No..." The boy ran his fingers through his hair, pulling harshly at his bangs as if they were rooted in the pain and he could rip it from his very skull. "I can almost remember something... really important... You're shadow behind the curtains... What was that, Soubi?" He tried to search the man's face for an inkling of a response, but the far-too-familiar piercing blue eyes had no answer. Soubi seemed genuinely baffled.

"My shadow? What do you mean?"

It took a few moments, but Ritsuka finally saw something. Soubi stood a little straighter, as if his back stiffened. His hands went still and his face suddenly seemed so shadowed. Soubi knew something, and like always, he intended to hide it from his own sacrifice. Ritsuka grunted and pulled away from the steady hands. "It was like this before. You were behind the curtains, and I let you in..."

"You've let me in dozens of times. I'm no stranger to your window."

"No, I mean... It was the first time..." He suddenly snapped up. The camera! Ritsuka lunged for it, forgotten on his bed, and quickly turned it back on. Once again landing on the picture in question, he shoved the camera at Soubi. "There! That was you! The date on that picture is four year ago! You knew me four years ago! How come I don't remember meeting you??"

Soubi was silent. His eyes had fixated on the picture, brows drawn in concern. Oops. Ritsuka saw it clear as day.

"I knew it! I knew I had met you before! What is this? Why don't I remember?"

The man was still silent. He apparently had not noticed that day, four years ago, that Ritsuka was taking pictures. When he had put the camera back on the desk that fateful night, he'd merely assumed the boy was skimming through other pictures and enjoying memories, as there didn't seem to be anything of interest in his room to take pictures of. Goddammit... One careless mistake and now he was in hot water. If Seimei were still around, he wouldn't let the fighter get away with this as easily as Ritsuka would. There would be a serious reprimanding.

Soubi graciously took Ritsuka's patience as time to come up with an answer. He did this often. It was becoming increasingly harder to lie to the boy. Ritsuka had been keen from the start, but now that he could almost fully understand his personality (and the flaws that came with it), Soubi's lies seemed more and more hollow.

Several moments passed. Perhaps he had waited too long. He glimpsed back down at Ritsuka. There was no longer patience on the pretty face. It was now replaced with disappointment, worry, and fear. His ears drooped as he took the camera back from Soubi gently, looking back at the picture. "There's a reason I don't remember, huh? Was it you? Were you just trying to pull the wool over my eyes?"

"Ritsuka..."

"Did something really important happen that night that you didn't want me to remember? There had to have been. Why else would you bother to shut away my memory?"

"It wasn't time."

"You were at my balcony and I let you in. That's your fault. How could you say it wasn't time? That's not fair to me. Why do I suffer from something you did on purpose?"

Soubi could think of nothing to say. To flat out speak the truth hadn't always been his strongest point. Secrets were secrets, and if Seimei demanded that Soubi never speak of that night to Ritsuka, then the fighter's lips were sealed.

It was in Soubi's silence and wavering gaze that Ritsuka managed to slowly piece things together. "Four years ago... You still belonged to Seimei, right?"

"Yes."

"Did he not want you to meet me?"

"Yes."

"So why did you meet me?"

The silence returned. Again, Seimei's words hung in the air. Soubi could not speak of it. But this only made Ritsuka frustrated, though he knew by this point that trying to get Soubi to speak against Seimei's demands was fairly useless. Ritsuka grumbled and turned off the camera, tossing it onto the bed.

"You're not gonna tell me anything, are you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize..." The boy ran his fingers through his hair, scratching behind his own catlike ear as his frustration slowly melted. There was nothing he could do but study the pictures and pray he could remember himself. "Well... Can you just tell me... the first time I met you... did I like you?"

Violet eyes turned up to Soubi's, seeming quite desperate for some answers. The man was silent for a moment before smiling a little. "Yeah, I'd say so."

That made Ritsuka happy. "Did you like me?"

Silence. Ritsuka's tail puffed out.

"What, really?? You didn't like me??"

"I can't say."

"You jerk!"

"Isn't Yuiko waiting for you?"

"Why didn't you like me??"

"Where were you going today, anyway?"

"Stop avoiding the question!" Ritsuka lunged out and grabbed Soubi's wrist, pulling him a little. "Why didn't you like me??" Ritsuka seemed genuinely concerned. It seemed so strange that Soubi would detest Ritsuka, and it made the boy curious beyond belief about what about him made him so appalling. His gaze never broke from Soubi, demanding an answer, whether Soubi wanted to give one or not. Screw Seimei's demands, Soubi needed to explain this. And it was just this massive amount of determination in Ritsuka's glare that made Soubi sigh and give in partly. With a simple twist of his hand, Soubi changed it so that now he was holding Ritsuka's wrists in his own grasp. Then he brought up his other arm and carefully propped Ritsuka up onto the bed so that he could look him more easily in the eye. The boy looked unsure then, as Soubi rarely showed strength like this _against_ him.

Still holding his wrists in one hand, Soubi gripped one of Ritsuka's arms as if to keep him from going anywhere. The blue eyes paralyzed him. Soubi held him in his spot. "Knowing, somewhere in the future, that you'll be taking orders from someone who _isn't _your given sacrifice would be enough to make any fighter enraged. Seimei told me long before his death that I would belong to you, you know that. I'd never met you before then, but I knew you were just a little kid and had no training. Why on earth do you think I would be happy about that?"

He seemed so angry then. It frightened Ritsuka. Had he really made him that upset over it? "You didn't like me even before you knew me? But that doesn't seem fair... I didn't decide all this, y'know. I'm not the one who took you from Seimei."

Soubi drew back, but it wasn't in defeat. He'd already said too much. He mentally slapped himself as he tried to wash the anger away. This conversation would get them nowhere. Ritsuka was not allowed to hear anymore.

"Soubi..."

He looked back down at his sacrifice.

"Do you... still dislike me about all that?"

Ritsuka seemed so small then. His tail twitched against his leg, trying to curl closer, and his head had dropped to stare into his lap. It wasn't a move to hook any pity, but it seemed he was truly worried that Soubi's affection was misplaced and deep down inside he actually despised him. It made Soubi silent for several more moments before finally forcing himself to speak up before Ritsuka got the wrong idea. "It was an initial upset, Ritsuka, but I could not find it in myself to harbor it. You had done nothing wrong... I was being childish."

That was a first. Ritsuka was surprised. It seemed like such a long shot for Soubi to openly announce his own immaturity, despite how many times such childishness had taken hold of him. However, it made the boy happy, and he smiled a little, which was a rarity for Soubi, and he took full advantage of it.

"Besides," Soubi continued. "You were far too cute."

Now Ritsuka blushed, wiping his smile away. "I wish you'd knock it off with the jokes already. Being a bully isn't very attractive."

"Who said I was joking? You were so small and so cute. Almost as cute as you are now."

There was that look. Ritsuka hated it. Soubi was just trying to be obnoxious. "Soubi, just shut up."

A sudden gleam was in the blue eyes as the man leant down to kiss Ritsuka's forehead. "You're skin tasted just as good then as it does now."

That startled Ritsuka. He sat up sharply, leaning far out of Soubi's current reach. He stared, wide-eyed, at his fighter. "Come again?"

Soubi stood straight, smiling once more, then turning to walk out. Ritsuka called out for him.

"Wait, what do you mean? You mean you... you kissed me back then?"

Soubi was silent. He couldn't answer. It made the boy frustrated all over again, especially when Soubi started to try and make an escape before he dug himself in any deeper.

"Soubi, stay! That's an order!"

And stay he did. Almost in mid-pose of opening the window again, Soubi did not move or turn to look at his sacrifice. But rather than take that opportunity to bombard him with questions, Ritsuka simply stood from the bed and strolled to Soubi's side, staring up at him.

"Okay, first off, Soubi, you can't be stupid enough to say something like that and just expect to walk away. Secondly... don't you have any restraint? I mean... I was eight-years-old. And you hated me. Didn't you think that was going to freak me out on some level?"

This sort of calm interrogation unnerved Soubi a little, though he didn't dare show it. It was like Ritsuka was piecing everything together but somehow he already knew everything, though that was impossible. What was Ritsuka trying to do to him?

Soubi slowly turned and looked down at his sacrifice. Ritsuka was still seeking answers, he could tell. There was a long silence before Ritsuka reached up to touch Soubi's arm. "I know I don't remember any of this for a reason... I won't ask you anymore, 'cause I guess I wasn't meant to know, so I'll just have to assume it was a Wordspell."

Silence.

"But I do have an order for you, Soubi... I can only pray, though, that it doesn't go against anything Seimei has told you." Suddenly he clutched Soubi's hand, looking him dead in the eye, pleadingly. "No more Wordspells against me. Please... don't do it again. Even if you did it to me before to seal everything from four years ago away... don't do it again, not now. Even if Seimei told you not to tell me anything, and I've figured all that I know out now... don't seal it all back up. Please?"

His eyes were so desperate. It seemed so strange for Ritsuka to look so pathetically at Soubi, but the man couldn't resist, and stood straight, facing Ritsuka and smiling. "I do not follow requests, Ritsuka. I follow orders. Order me."

"But does it go against Seimei's will?"

"You won't know until you try."

Ritsuka grimaced. It seemed like such a childish game, but he had to follow the rules if he wanted anything out of this. Swallowing, Ritsuka bravely stared the man in the eyes. "I order you. No more Wordspells against me."

Another silence... It was a tense moment where Ritsuka had to wait to hear Soubi's response. It would either be a simple "Yes Master" or "I can't". Soubi's expression never changed. Finally, he bowed his head. "I can't."

His heart sank. It wasn't the fact that Soubi had to hide things from him... It was mainly that Seimei was obstructing him. And it was scary, too. What if Soubi had been using Wordspells on him this whole time? What if he used more in the future? He'd never know. Ritsuka would be a complete victim to Soubi, or rather... Seimei. Ritsuka felt scared. He had no control. He was lost.

Ritsuka released Soubi's hand and stood back. Everything felt like it was crashing down with thunderous ferocity. RItsuka was no longer safe. Even when Soubi reached out to touch his face, the boy still felt like he were under an attack. "It's for your protection, Ritsuka."

"Don't..." He hid his face as he took a step back, out of Soubi's reach. "Just go."

"Ritsuka..."

"Yuiko's waiting for me. I gotta go." He turned to go for his camera and leave, but Soubi reached out his arms and caught him, pulling him back. Ritsuka struggled and cried out, twisting against the man to get free. "Let me go! I don't want to see you now! I can't trust you!"

"Do you want to know why I kissed you, Ritsuka?"

There was a terrifying moment for the sacrifice. He felt the horrid reality start to settle in, and he tried even harder to get away. "Stop it!"

"You were so adorable, it was hard to resist. But you also asked for it."

"You're lying!"

Soubi's arms wrapped around Ritsuka from behind, ensnaring his struggling arms and holding him against himself. Ritsuka's efforts to get away were in vain. "I don't think I could've stopped myself even if Seimei had ordered I never do such a thing."

Slowly, Ritsuka's attempts to get away grew weaker. "Be quiet! Just... shut up..."

"It makes me happy to know I was most certainly your first kiss. And also the first to undress you..."

Ritsuka was shaking. His head dropped forward, almost going limp in Soubi's grasp. He shook his head. "I don't want to hear anymore. You're just torturing me."

"No, Ritsuka. I just want you to be assured that I did indeed tell you what you wanted to know."

"...But you won't let me remember..."

"...Correct."

Soubi's right hand pressed flat to Ritsuka's chest, and searing heat and pain emanated from his fingers in that moment. Ritsuka cringed and went stiff.

"Systems Engage."

The room went dark, and Ritsuka suddenly only became aware of the hand on his chest and the eerie, thick feeling in his head head and lungs. Ritsuka knew this. The moment Soubi had asked that first question, "Do you want to know why I kissed you?"... Ritsuka knew that this awaited him. Soubi was sealing everything away again. He'd said too much long before he had tried to make his escape. Soubi had never meant for Ritsuka to escape from the moment. He had been doomed from the start.

Soubi's left hand slid over Ritsuka's eyes, causing them to shut, and to Soubi's surprise... he felt wetness beneath it. Ritsuka was crying. After being so powerless and alone, the boy was finally crying. Soubi could not ignore his pain, however Seimei's order over-weighed his momentary grief, and he concentrated on the Wordspell.

"Yuiko's waiting for you, Ritsuka. Go to her. I was never here."

"Why did Seimei not want me to know anything?"

"It's too dangerous for you. You were too precious to him... and too precious to me."

"What happened that night, Soubi?"

"I found Ritsuka... and I realized how badly I wanted to keep him."

Ritsuka collapsed to the floor.

Soubi shut the window behind him as he left.

Ritsuka's violet eyes slowly opened, letting in the daylight from outside through his window. His head hurt, and his chest felt stuffy. Everything was groggy, and for some reason, the word "Beloved" burned clearly into his mind. _'Soubi_', he thought as he rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. His vision was a little fuzzy, and his eyes were wet. With tears? Had he been crying? He touched his cheek and looked at his wet fingertips. He hadn't even been aware he was crying. Why was he crying? Perhaps he'd never know... To ask Soubi would be so useless. Besides...

He didn't have the heart to tell him his precious Wordspell hadn't worked.

* * *

Ze end.

* * *

AN: Does this story make ANY sense? Perhaps not... Lulz, I'm satisfied with it anyway. Hope you are too.

Review hombre, review hombre. (show me your lasso, show me your lasso...)


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